Central American Security Meeting

I apologize for the sudden political obsession but in truth, that is all I’m surrounded by recently. Politics by day and arts by night. Not bad you say, there are worse things in this world. There are, but the burocractic movements of politics in the real world, not to mention in Guatemala, are so tediously slow it’s like taking the time to measure the individual veins of a leaf in order to produce an exact replica.

Last week, the one and only Hillary Clinton along with 80 other heads of state from around the world, made an appearance in the Camino Real of Zona 10 Guatemala City to discuss Central America's future as a drug mule. With the likes of my latinamerican counterparts demanding more money (it's always about the money) and the likes of Arab sheikhs sitting on quite a bit of money producing useless comments, it fell down to Colombia's Calderón to point the finger and say, "If there is one thing we can be sure of, is that drug money is circulating in this room at this very moment."

Absolute, terrified silence.

Then you have the presidental candidates refusing to reveal their sources of funding. Some might argue it's their rights to privacy, their protection against thievery and extortion, but in this country you only stuggle that much against the law if you have something to hide. Parties win through trickery, lies and bribes. A recent political debate between the top five revealed them as complete and utter nimcompoops for the lack of a better word. Answers for reducing crime and drug traficking included:
a) a secret tactical army to target the narcos (drug lords)- another mismanaged groups of corrupt jugheads with fancy guns
b) shutting down borders - national prison, whoop
c)increased funding for the police force - way, undeserved bonuses!

If you had to choose, would you rather be governed by an ex-assasin, Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, the woman who became the country's richest person by stealing from national funds, or a terminally ill patient?

Salvadoran Legislative Court

A good friend of the family received a very distinguished award from the legislative branch of El Salvador's very apt and capable government so the three females of this family (excluding the cat) bundled ourselves in the car and sped away through rain and thunderstorms to attend the award ceremony. I am now proud to say that I have been inside the buildings of El Salvador's central governance, have sat with the who's who of El Salvador's political royalty (although I did not know it at the time) and have watched bemusedly as my mother the photographer flitted back and forth among all this grandeur, unapologetically pointing a 30cm lens in people's faces.

What can I say, it was exciting for all about 10 minutes until we all realized hardly anything could be understood over the incessant chatter of gossipy women sitting in the back corner of the legislative court. Who gossips in a legislative court?!

It was really interesting though. I felt like I was in an episode of the West Wing: El Salvador, sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for a glimpse of our president Mauricio Funes in the midst of drama and action. He never showed, apparently was never supposed to. Only the likes of ARENA's Calderon Sol (cough), and the Minister of Defense and other important people which I remained completely oblivious to. There was talk about the war, the progress that has been achieved, and of course my uncle's involvement in this progress and all of his achievements. All had good things to say, it got very political at one point which was when the gossiping hit its peak, and a couple flashes later it was over. Four females bundled themselves in a car and sped away home.

Antigua

Antigua, otherwise known as the Hoi An, Bonn, or the Pokhara of Guatemala. Backpacker central, gringo land, this is where you go to wander the streets in peaceful safety, marvel at colonial arquitectura and the enormous Volcán de Fuego, twist your ankle on cobbled streets and get ripped off for being a crazy gringa. I should complain I suppose, about how the influx of mostly American tourists has jacked up local prices, food portions and number of English speakers in the area, but then again it's because of the tourists that Antigua is so safe, so clean, so well preserved and so pleasant to walk in. After the panic of the country side (Google 'Petén massacre' and you'll see what I mean) and the political nightmare that is currently the capital, paying a little extra at the market is a small price to pay for a momentary peace of mind.

So what is Antigua?

The city used to be known as the capital of Central America (a quick geography lesson here, Guatemala is NOT in South America, it is in Central America. So is El Salvador). It was the capital of CA and the one of the several capitals of Guatemala (the two previous ones were destroyed by massive volcanic eruptions), until two massive earthquakes destroyed most of the city and the capital was transferred to what is now known as Guatemala City. Original. Today, by some stroke of random ingenuity, the people of Guatemala have conserved and rebuilt the ex-capital, and much of it can still be seen as it was 250 years ago. Some parts are very touristy, but most of it has remained unchanged. The architecture is Spanish baroque, wide one story houses with central courtyards and fountains, the tallest buildings are three story churches which in their surroundings look massive and grandiose. The whole place is a hub of commerce with even the likes of Burger King, MacDonalds and Dominos making a stage presence, but you wouldn't realize it due to the strict preservation laws forbidding any kind of changes to the architecture and any kind of propaganda to be put up. True visual peace.

And yet despite the flourishing tourism and commerce, the community is still very strong. Every year for Semana Santa (Easter), each block of houses works together to prepare and decorate their block for the Easter parades. Colourful sawdust carpets are prepared on the streets. Contributions of bread, toys, flowers, and yearly harvests are made to decorate these carpets depicting the story of the passover. I could spend pages and pages talking about this, but it's late and I don't want to get into it. It'll suffice to say it's beautiful and one of those unique experiences you'll never forget.

So overall summary, if you ever visit Guatemala, chances are you'll end up in Antigua. And you'll love it just like everyone else.

Politics and Transportation

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Writing doesn't come easy in this country for whatever reason. Whether it's the circumstances, lack of quick access or the momentary feeling of complete apathy, at least it's not because of lack of inspiration. Maybe it's because it feels more personal here. Bringing out the inner anthropologists is a lot more difficult when you're living at home in a completely comfortable environment of equity and peace.

I could talk about the transportation system. How absolutely ridiculous it is to put traffic police on what is pretty much a highway to stop oncoming cars 10 minutes at a time in order to allow people to make illegal u-turns. Or the “metro” which is really just a conventional bus with air con, pre-paid cards and its own bus lane. Normal buses are huge privatized vehicles, decorated in the ghetto fabulous style of a latino gangsta; think tribal decorations, catholic paraphernalia, and ACME cartoons depicted on the tire flaps. I'm not sure I understand why the cartoons. Despite their flashy exterior, their shoddy interior and clouds of black fumes they trail behind them provide a more accurate description of the internal state of affairs.

The elections are coming up. Politicians are going wild. And when I mean wild I don't mean wild with impatience to demonstrate political adeptness or eagerness to relay proposed political agendas to bring this country out the slum of violence and corruption. No I mean colour crazy. Never have I seen such obnoxious and extensive displays of propaganda splashed all over a city in every colour of the rainbow imaginable. A glimpse upwards from the valley reveals not natural beauty of tropical rain forests and jungles, but mug shots of the rich, powerful and corrupt. Rocks, lamp posts, sides of mountains, strategically placed broken down cars are all used to relay the all important message “Vote for me”. The city's vaults would be overflowing with cash if the mayor would only install a tax on roadside propaganda. Did I mention there are about 30 political parties running for the presidency? I'm not even exaggerating. In the end what it all comes down to in order to determine the winner of the presidency is who has the most money to pay for the most propaganda.

Orange is winning at the moment.